A Gay Love Poem: Daniel

I am very worried, because I haven’t seen you and I don’t know if you are okay.
But I’m sure you’re smiling even if you’re in pain.
I used to think that “we live in different worlds.” 
But I am no longer sure if that is true.
We are from different families, and our viewpoints and ways of thinking
Are just like day and night.
But so what? We were friends. Isn’t that enough? What else do we need?

I am very happy that I met you,
I am glad that I went to school with you,
And have a lot of good memories.
But above all… I’m glad I got to know you, Daniel.

You asked me many times if I cared about me.
But I never felt like I could give you an answer that was concrete,
Not even once.
From the first time I met you,
I felt as if I wanted to be right by your side,
Yet I yearned to get further away.
I was scared if I got too close that you would find out how I felt,
Maybe it’s the same for you.

I stayed because I always felt like you were hurt, much more than me—
Almost like your soul was wounded.
I guess I felt responsible. Silly, right?
I knew that you are much smarter than me, bigger and stronger—
But even so—I always wanted to protect you.
Funny, isn’t it? But what did I want to protect you from?

I think I wanted to protect you from your future.
Fate was sweeping you away, like a flood.
I was never able to confront you about who you actually were,
And just like you, I too was afraid of who you really are
And who I would become if you were truly yourself.

I didn’t want you to lose everyone around you
Just for someone like me.
That is why I left. I’m a bit regretful about it.
However, it’s going to stay that way.
Just remember you are not alone, Daniel.
I am with you. My soul is always with you.

— Ron Quach