Hope for the Community

I am Dylan and I’m in my mid-30s this year. I am a self-identified closeted gay graysexual, and I also belong to a minority race in Malaysia. Being queer or identifying as LGBTQIA in Malaysia is tough enough, but being a minority within a minority can be even tougher. Being a gay cis-male in your mid-30s is a double-edged sword: you are expected to be matured, knowledgeable, and secure, but these are all stereotypes that have been drawn by society.  

Thinking about growing old makes me anxious — how and where I would be or if I remained single until the end. 

My only hope is to build sustainable community living for LGBTQ—something like 28 Barbary Lane in the book Tales of the City. While many support circles are built to cater for younger gay men, there are almost none that cater to the matured group. Many of these men, especially the non-urbanites, may have already started to experience issues or woes related to mid-life crises (e.g. illnesses, loneliness, depression).

I am privileged enough to have been involved with a LGBTQ organisation in the past, and played a small role in helping it to grow. With my past experience, I wish to do more to help fellow matured gay men to network and build a support system for ourselves. 

I hope that we could do more for our matured LGBTQ persons. Without them, we would not be where we are today.