Letter to My Younger Self

Dear 17-year-old self,
You might be feeling so confused, lonely and angry with who you are now because you feel so different from others. You are afraid of having “that feeling” for girls. This is because Thai society tells you that queer love is “unfaithful” and “just a phase”.

To Be a Woman

Never have I imagined in my entire life that I would be a woman today; I thought it was impossible! I felt empty throughout my life—a lost soul; a living corpse with no fun in life. Sometimes, I felt that I wanted to close my eyes and not wake up. I felt this way since I was four years old. That was when I had tried my mum’s bra and heels, to her dismay.

My Mother and Me

I came out to my mom when I was 23. I showed her a picture of a girl I was dating who could pass off as a male at times. She exclaimed “He’s short, but pretty good looking,” and jokingly, I replied “She’s cute, right?” Her eyes grew wide, and I could almost hear her heart rate as it skyrocketed.