I was always partially aware of my sexual orientation while growing up, ie I am attracted to men despite being a boy. I started coping with my surroundings by trying to act straight, because showing feminine traits often led to the nicknames given to people in the LGBTQ+ community within this “so-called perfect society.” Therefore, I hid in a deep closet—killing my inner desires of wanting to proudly shout that I am gay—for a whole 19 years.
As someone who studied in an all-girl school for 11 years, I was not a stranger to the idea of same-sex relationships. It was fun and liberating to watch some of my friends fall head over heels for other girls
What would you do if you were born into a religion that you can never leave; where even your government and family tell you that you don’t get a choice? In my country, leaving Islam is an offence punishable by death. Good or bad, you must pray to a god in whom you have little or no faith and practice a religion which you don’t believe in. That’s the situation in which I find myself in, and there is nothing I can do about it.
I came out to my mom when I was 23. I showed her a picture of a girl I was dating who could pass off as a male at times. She exclaimed “He’s short, but pretty good looking,” and jokingly, I replied “She’s cute, right?” Her eyes grew wide, and I could almost hear her heart rate as it skyrocketed.