My name is Megan and I am a transgender woman. I started my transition when I was 16 years old. Before I underwent HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy), I loved to wear lady clothes and wigs—I felt so good about being myself in front of the mirror.
Dear 17-year-old self,
You might be feeling so confused, lonely and angry with who you are now because you feel so different from others. You are afraid of having “that feeling” for girls. This is because Thai society tells you that queer love is “unfaithful” and “just a phase”.
Never have I imagined in my entire life that I would be a woman today; I thought it was impossible! I felt empty throughout my life—a lost soul; a living corpse with no fun in life. Sometimes, I felt that I wanted to close my eyes and not wake up. I felt this way since I was four years old. That was when I had tried my mum’s bra and heels, to her dismay.
“Can you pick someone else who is ‘normal’?” said a conservative teacher to another who was going to select me as the winner of the 2014 costume contest at my middle school.